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Thursday, March 26, 2009

Old Lady in a Miniskirt

Know what I've realized? That I've somehow turned into that person that makes a scene wherever she goes.

I hate that.

I feel like wherever I go that I bring this whirlwind of chaos (in other words, my children) that other people have to witness... almost like they're looking around for a hidden camera and thinking, "Is this lady for real or is someone trying to catch my reaction for a show?"

I wasn't always this person, and when I'm alone or just with other adults, then I'm definitely not this person. I'm perfectly happy to slip into a room, take a seat, and blend into the wallpaper. That's ok with me... really...

With my children... specifically my daughter, this is impossible.

Take for example, yesterday at the dentist. My son was going for a checkup, while my daughter and I "sat" in the waiting room.

I spent the entire thirty minutes (what a LONG thirty minutes!) stopping her from jumping on the couch, pulling leaves off plants, getting inside cabinets, and ripping a picture of a cat she saw in a magazine. It was basically me saying "no", chasing her, and putting her in my lap (temporarily, at least). I had to set her on the counter just so I could pay the bill. That was the only thing I could do in order to keep her in one spot for just a few seconds.

I know this is just a stage, but that really doesn't bring me any comfort right now.

Twenty or so years ago, my mom and I went to the mall in Charleston (WV). There was a small crowd gathered and we -being the nosy people that we are- slowed down and glanced over momentarily to see what was happening.

There was this old lady (looking back... I realize that she wasn't that old at all!) teetering around on high heels and a very short black miniskirt. She kept falling, getting up, and laughing hysterically. She was obviously drunk. After five seconds of watching this, we moved on.

Every now and then, we mention this incident. (I can't remember where I put the power bill, but I remember this...)

So, now I wonder if I've become "the old lady in the miniskirt" who attracts the attention of others in a way that just makes them shake their heads and roll their eyes. With all the chaos that seems to surround us wherever we go, it's quite the possibility.

But, at least I'm not drunk.

That's got to be a positive.

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