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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A Beautiful Sight

Last night, I went to Publix for a little shopping. I went alone which was unbelievably refreshing.

When I returned, I saw the most beautiful sight I've ever seen:

My husband was exasperated.

Let me explain... My husband is constantly telling me how he can handle anything better than me, and how nothing bothers him. When I make a statement about a day being chaotic (pick a day... any day...), he will tell me to "relax" and stop letting everything get to me.

It's annoying.

Not only that, but his increased insistence that he can control our children and manage stress better than me has almost completely undermined my confidence... until yesterday...

My son had brought an old, abandoned bird's nest into the house and was dropping twigs and dirt everywhere. My daughter was trying to eat the dirt and twigs that fell onto the floor. My husband couldn't get the Swiffer to work (it was clogged), so the mess was really accumulating. Food was still out. Dishes were piled up. The table was dirty with lots of crumbs on the floor. And, worst of all, the kids should have already been in bed.

But the look on his face.... I've seen that look when I've glanced in a mirror, too, so I know what it means -- complete and total exasperation.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want him to yell and lose his cool (which he hadn't, by the way), I just want to see him a little stressed out. Why? Because nothing is more satisfying than having someone tell you they can do a better job than you over and over and over, then seeing that person ...well... NOT do a better job...:-)

I am fairly sure that my husband only says those things to me about how competent he is (and he honestly is!) not to gloat, but so that I will have confidence in his abilities. The truth is I AM confident in his abilities, unfortunately all this talk about his strengths and the magnitude of what he can handle is making me feel a little (well, a lot) unconfident.

After my husband realized I had been standing there watching the scene unfold for 30 seconds or so, he immediately stood up straight and put on his best I-have-it-all-under-control face.

But, it was too late... I saw that moment of annoyance in his eyes, I heard that sigh of frustration, and I noticed the furrowed brow in anticipation of when the evening would be over. Trust me -I recognized it well. I didn't laugh or say anything (he would have just denied it, anyway), but I'll forever have that memory.

And it's a great memory.

I have the knowledge that everyone has bad moments, and it can be quite trying on the nerves.

I have the satisfaction of knowing I do as good a job as the man "who can handle anything".

I have the appreciation for my husband who will tell me what he thinks I want to hear just so I won't worry.

And, most importantly, I have even more love and respect for him now that he has allowed me to glimpse this side of him... even for just a moment.

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