The Maid

My husband took the children today, so that I could "have time for myself". By the way, that's code for "clean the house while we're gone".

That completely bites.

Nothing like having a few precious moments alone in a quiet house, only to enjoy it with a swiffer attached to one hand and a dust cloth on the other.

I realize that the job description of a "housewife" includes cleaning the house, but come on... is the house ever really clean when you have children? Ever? If it's always in perfect order, then there's a problem. Seriously.

For example, I can be putting clothes away, and my daughter will walk up to me with a book in her little hand. Am I supposed to say, "I can't do that right now. Putting clothes on hangers is of the utmost importance."? Um... no... I take the book, I sit down with her on my lap, and I read.

So, basically, things don't get done.

My husband tells me all the time that he should stay home with the kids all day, because he will get more done.

The first time he said it, I laughed so hard that it took me a while to catch my breath.

He was not amused.

Now when he mentions it, I just tell him that any time he wants to try it, I will be happy to take off for a week and let him. Of course, no matter what would happen -the police could be called, the house could burn down, my entire family could appear on the news - he would tell me that everything was fine.

There is no winning this argument with him.

So, now I need to get back to making the beds and putting laundry away. Meanwhile, he is biking to the park with the children.

Life just isn't fair.