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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Call Home

I am so frustrated.

No, I'm beyond frustrated.

My daughter went back to school today. I barely had time to get to the store and home before I received a call to come get her. "She's having a rough day, so you might need to bring her home."
She was up to her old tricks of pulling hair, pinching, and biting.

So, I went and received more "helpful" lectures of how to handle the situation. (If you know how to handle it so well, why are you calling me?) Basically, in a roundabout way, she was asked to leave.

Fine.

I understand that... really. If my child was getting bit, pinched, or just basically hurt every day, then I wouldn't like it, either. Other children (and teachers) shouldn't have to deal with it.

I just hate hearing the constant "you need to do this... you need to do that...". Yes, I do discipline her at home when it happens (which isn't often). Yes, I did ask the pediatrician about it, and he thinks it's normal and she'll grow out of it. (They didn't like that answer at all.) No, I don't know what the problem is, but I have ideas. (Doesn't matter.)

I feel really bad about it... I do. I hate that she's doing this. I hate it! But, I really don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with a problem she's having at school that she's NOT having at home. This obviously is not the right place for her. I'm not saying they're doing anything bad. I am saying that maybe she's not ready for this situation. Yes, it would be so great if I had a few hours to myself to clean the house, run errands, or just (gasp!) relax, but it's so not worth it with people getting hurt.

What really annoys me is when people suggest there's something wrong with her. Basically, "autism" was suggested in a subtle manner. I have a real problem with this.

First of all, people throw this around far too often. Any little delay in development, and suddenly people are saying that autism could be the case. Yes, it could be, or it could be that some children develop faster in areas than others. They're saying that just because my daughter bites (primarily at school) and doesn't say that many words that she could have a developmental problem. Let's not jump to conclusions, ok? I told them that my son talked and walked a little later, too. Which brings me to another point.

They suggested autism when my son was four. Yes, these same people. So, two years of testing and worrying, and now he's helping other children with their reading and math at school. I'm ecstatic that they were wrong, and I appreciate the interest that they took in him. What I don't appreciate is the fact that these people, who are not trained in childhood developmental issues, are approaching this subject... again. So, forgive me for not jumping on their little bandwagon, but I've been down this road before, and this time I'm listening to my own instincts. And those instincts are telling me autism is not the case.

I just need to keep her at home with me for a while, and help her a little more with her speech. If she continues to show problems, then we'll take the next step. I do not want to deny her any help that she may need. In a few months, when school begins again, maybe she'll be ready to go... or maybe not... we'll just see.

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