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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

My son is driving me crazy.

He's always been high-maintenance, even as a baby. He would scream the moment I sat down...either holding him or not. No wonder I lost the baby weight so easily with him.

The other day he was watching some old "Tom and Jerry", and there was someone running away from home. You know how they did it -with the hanky, apparently holding all their worldly possessions, tied to the end of the stick. So, now that idea is in his head.

"Mommy, have you ever run away from home?"

"Yes, but I only got as far as the end of the driveway and turned back around." That's the truth.

So he's thinking about this for a while. (I can almost see his brain working as he processes this.) Then, nothing else is said.

That brings us to last night. Yesterday, he was in a bad mood. Some girl that sits beside him in class wrote in his journal and accidentally poked a hole in the paper. That made him mad. Apparently, he yelled at her and made her cry. (That's what he said, but he has a real tendency to ...embellish...) As far as I know, that's all that happened. He just hates it when people (mainly girls) mess with his stuff.

So, he was sullen and pouty all afternoon. After my husband came home from work the real fireworks started. My son starts mouthing off when he doesn't get his way. And, to be honest, I don't even remember what set it all off. I was in the kitchen cleaning up. All I heard were my son's typical "I hate you" and "You're mean" and "You're just a big butthead." whenever he gets mad. Nice, huh? So, he basically spent all evening in his room with toys taken away from him. And that only made him madder.

After my husband took the Wii away for a week, my son decided to take action. "I'm running away!"

At this point, I was ready to call a cab and help him pack. Instead, we just let him walk out the front door. (We kept an eye on him the whole time, and he never left the yard. Actually, we didn't even need to watch him...we heard him. He was crying and wailing. Ugh.)

After a few minutes, I told my husband to get him back in. We have policemen that live in our neighborhood, and I could just envision some horrible scenario that involved the newspaper and social workers...(sigh)...

What does my husband do? He yells, "Come in here. The police called, and they're taking you to jail if you don't stop."

Great.

So, by this time, my son is practically hysterical thinking he's going to jail. I force my husband to tell him that no one called, and no one is going to jail. My son calmed down, went to bed, and I made my husband pick a date for his vasectomy. Seriously.

And tonight, believe it or not, I actually start taking a parenting class. It's not the court-mandated-learn-to-take-care-of-your-children-or-we're-taking-them-away-from-you class, it's a class to help parents better communicate with their children. Couldn't come at a better time.

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